Talkin Candy Bar Blues

Intro
G  C  D  D
G  C  D  G

Verse 1
          G              C
Bought a candy bar the other day
D                        D
Only ate half, s'gonna throw the rest away
        G                   C
When I saw this kid playin' in the street
    D                       D
I said "Hey kid, you want somethin' to eat?"
           G    G
He said "Whut?"
          C                    D
I said "Candy, son." He said "HELP!"
          D
Then he started to run
        G           G
And I stood there
              C     C
Watchin' him go
                D       D
Half a bar of chocolate
                  Riff B
Runnin' down my fingers

Verse 2
          G                    C
Well the kid comes back in a minute or two
          D                      D
But his mom's with him and the neighbors too
          G                        C
And they got the kid scared it's plain to see
            D                      D
They say "Which one done it?" he points at me
          G     G           C
He says "Him"       I say "What do you mean?"
          D              D
He says "YOU!" then he starts to scream
          G       G                C      C
And I'm standin',     everybody's lookin'
               D       D       D       D
Everybody's starin'        -at me- ... (nervous laugh)

Bridge
         D
"Howdy doody...
y'all waitin' for the bus?
Ah ...
A little late isn't it ...
Anybody got a watch? ...
We could uh see how late it is ...
I got a better idea, let's find somebody with a watch
             Riff B
And stare at him!"

Verse 3
       G                     C
Well some start pickin' up baseball bats
          D                      D
And the others are pullin' the pins from their hats -
     G                         C
"I think this thing's gone a little too far
          D                   D
Hell, I only offered him a CANDY BAR!"
          G      G              C
I said "WAIT!"        I said "What are you doin'?"
             D                  D
They said "PRE-VERT the kid's life is ruined!"
G   G                           C                      C
     "Oh well then you better check what he's chewin'
                  D
Cause I got the feelin'
                          D           Riff B
He's in the middle of a bubble gum orgy!"

Verse 4
               G                    C
Well they're comin' at me and I'm backin' away
             D          D
And then I hear this policeman say
            G               C
"Are you positive he's the right man?"
     D                         D
(I quick flicked the candy bar out of my hand)
         G              G            C
He says  --  "Show me."     I says "Show ya what?"
               D                D
He says "The CANDY BAR you degen-a-rut"
         G       G               C           C
And he grabs me       He grabs both my hands
D                  D
  Pretty easy to see ...
D         D                Riff A
  Which hand's got the chocolate!

Verse 5
           G                  C
Well I've had some troubled times before
      D                          D
But none like the trip from the candy store ...
G                       C
   Sympathize with the kid all right
D                         D
Somebody's nice to ya, probably ain't right
G               G           C            C
   I'll grow up,     I'll learn the way
       D                D
I'll learn so that my later days'll be
     G          G               C           C
    prosperous     (Chocolate covered) ...
            D        D                   Riff B
If I don't bite off,   more than I can hide

Outro
End riff

| h  Hammer-on
| p  Pull-off